Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Marriage of a student
A student whose name is "S" is the most enthusiastic student in our school, and I'm expecting his future success. One day, he talked to me about his marriage forced by his parents after school.
Then, I decided to visit his house to negotiate his parents with 3 teachers. But, both of his parents were out of his house at that time. We were talking with neighbors about his suddenly arranged marriage while we were waiting his parents come home. The neighbors said that it is impossible to persuade them to give up their son's marriage.
According to my thought, if he marry, I will have to stop to support his further study. The person should have responsibility to take care of his wife to live after their marriage. I was expecting his future and it is hard for me to decide but I should decide.
We waited half an hour in front of his house, then we went to bazaar(where there are shops) to look for his parents. And, we found them. They were in a shop and selecting the things to prepare son's marriage there. (S told us they sold goats to make money for shopping.)
S's mother said, "Please come to our son's marriage party. I am very old and anytime I may die. But son's wife will come then my heart will be peace. Whole my body has pain by disease and it was very difficult for me to cook everyday.... Now, coming son's wife will cook for us!...After son will marry, his wife will take care of us, so you can bring S(son) to anywhere to study!" with tears.
Then, I told them what I think. "When a person marry someone he should earn money for her to live. It is more important than study. If he marry, he will have to get a job to feed his family, after that, he can use the rest of money for himself to study. If he marry now, I have to stop our support for his further study. Instead of that, I will introduce him some job." I said.
The mother was surprised to listen what I said that she had never thought. And she cried more.
I asked "S", "what do you think about your marriage?", then he replied, "I don't want to marry now. I would like to study more. But my parents don't listen to me..."
In fact, his parents are very old. "S" was born after they became aged so they looks like his grand parents. And they are out of shape. I can understand their thinking.
I asked "S", "How old is she? Do you like her?" and, "I don't know. I've never see her and her photo too." he said.
He had already been gifted laptop computer as a marriage gift from the family of his wife to be. I think "S" couldn't defeat the allure of the laptop. He thought he can study more by using the laptop. Some friends of him were saying he was very happy with it.
"S" is almost 18 years old. He is allowed to marry by laws in Japan, but actually, here in India, a man who is below 21 years old is not allowed to marry.
When will the old custom in villages be changed...?
The date of his marriage is planned to hold in next month.